Saturday, September 26, 2009

The silence of being alone.

It's saturday night and I'm sitting at home... alone. That could possibly be sad. But I'm actually enjoying the calmness that having no one else in the house brings. Having all this flat with no people in it is quite refreshing, its like a whole new kind of breathing space. I haven't had much 'me time' lately becuase my partner and I live together. Which was and is a big step, although at the time it seemed like a natural progression. Anyway, she is away at the moment and its probably the first time in too long that we've been apart. Living together is great; it's beautiful, comforting and fun, but it takes its toll.

Sitting by myself, I realise that as an individual, I need my silence and space. The scary thing is though, it takes being apart to really appreciate it. I guess it all comes back to that whole idea of 'absense makes the heart grow fonder' (note: absense - not absinthe, as some of my friends would perhaps like to think. hehehe.) That is something which I am sure almost anyone in a relationship can identify with. I take my hat off to any couple who can spend all there time together and still keep their own sanity!

I really don't think that the dynamics of relationships change just because of their gender make up is different. We both need our space and we both miss each other now that we have been apart. I miss having someone give me a kick up the ass because I haven't got my act together and paid the bills, I miss cooking dinner together and facing the enormous challenge of flat dishes together, I miss having someone around who knows me inside out, but most of all I miss being with the person I love and going to bed knowing I will wake up next to her, not in silence.

I think anyone can identify with that feeling, no matter how much you need their corner of individual time and space, no matter how much you get annoyed with your nearest and dearest, and no matter what kind of relationship you find yourself in.

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