Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Are you the same as me?

I remember this friend of mine in England who was a self-identified lesbian. We were sitting in a bar one time with all our mates and a group of girls walked past all glamed up. The boys were practically drooling as they watched them strutt their stuff, trying oh so hard to impress. What cracked me up though was when my friend, smiled sweetly out the window and waved at the girls too. They looked very confused.

Although they might have been the straight type who my friend wasnt't seriously interested in, to her they were good perving material. She used to always say that she had 'gaydar' which is kind of like a radar for sensing whether people were gay or not. Since I have been with my partner I have often wondered if I too possess this inner 'gaydar'. Turns out I don't...

I always wonder "ooo, are those two together? are they also like us" and then I say to my partner (trying to be discreet) "look at those two over there! do you think they're gay?" So she turns and looks and we are both staring for ages (thinking that we are being really discreet, but are obviously not). I am never right. It always turns out to be 'the best friend' or 'a good family friend' or a sister or someone, anyone, just not their partner.

It is quite funny really. I don't know why we always get our hopes up everytime we see two girls together in a situation that we can't explain. It is like we are searching for something or someone who is like ourselves. It is a way of feeling 'normal'. The idea is that if we see other 'normal' looking people in a same sex relationship then we will feel more accepted and mainstream, so to say.

It's like whenever we do see an obviously gay couple my parnter is like "LOOK!! they're gay!" and we both stare for ages. The poor people must wonder why we are staring, little do they know that we are just happy that they are out and being themselves. Or maybe they know that we too are gay, maybe their 'gaydar' is working.......


  1. I totally relate to the "LOOK!! they're gay!" (too)happiness. It can feel so lonely, and scary, openly expressing your queer sexuality in such a straight world.

    A warm and happy glow spreads through me when I see gay couples holding hands in public.
    Kia kaha, spread the love.